Yesterday as I was taking the garbage from my apartment down the floor to the garbage chute, I talked to my neighbour. She is a well dressed, colorful-eyed (I think green), slender young french girl. Luckily, I have good memory with names, so I was able to use that as an icebreaker. She was waiting for the elevator so I didn’t have much time. I had already dumped the garbage and didn’t have much of an excuse to be hanging around. So I went back to my apartment, and quickly grabbed some more garbage just so I could walk past her and say a few more words. We said “How are you” to each other, and then her elevator door opened. She didn’t break eye-contact with me, instead she said “so how’s it going?” and I asked about if she’s comfortable with the building (because she just moved in recently). The elevator closed, and she’s still smiling at me, happy to make conversation. She says that she checked out the building’s gym, and makes a funny arm motion that implies she was running really fast. I laugh and turn around to dump out the garbage. As I’m walking past her, she says “feel free to knock on my door anytime!” and I say the same back to her. She enters the elevator, and I enter the apartment.
After I lock the door behind me, I hopped over my bean bag and looked into the washroom mirror. I wanted to see how I must’ve looked while talking to her. I found myself sitting in my chair for a few minutes just thinking about other things I could’ve said to her. Or even following up on her offer and just knocking on her door. I got lost in thought, and excited at the potential prospect with this girl. I started to feel shitty, because I knew that I didn’t have the courage to knock on her door. What if it got awkward? What if she didn’t understand my English, and I didn’t understand her French accent. What if her room mates were uncomfortable with having me there? What if it our “neighbour-ship” got weird, and every time I saw her, it became awkward. I felt pretty bad at this point, but luckily I came to my senses – holy shit. I became infatuated with a girl who spoke to me for about 30 seconds. I refused to let myself feel unhappy, over such a miniscule event. What I did next sounds very loser-ish, but effectively made me feel better. I played Skyrim till I fell asleep.