Astrology, Jathagam (Also, bragging about myself)

A self-esteem boost is the best outcome of a fortune-telling session. Provided that the jathagam (star alignment chart), produces empowering information about the person. I almost used the word customer instead of person, because of the highly business side of this business. But seeing as my father is someone who can read a person’s jathagam, I can see that a fortune-reader’s intentions are not primarily to receive a profit. My dad is providing a service to the worried, troubled, and distressed people that really just need some motivation to continue being resilient in life.

If I could just pay a guy a measly 30 bucks to tell me how to make my child excel in school, why the heck wouldn’t I? The advice is generally easy to follow. Pray to specific gods, do certain pooja’s at temple and don’t eat meat on certain days. That is a much easier method than, developing a child’s self-control skills, lengthening his attention span, motivating him to find joy in problem solving, and to not get distracted by the millions of other exciting things in life. How would you even go about teaching someone to feel a natural emotion, like joy? And especially to find joy in something abstract like math. Kirushanth spent hours and hours at McDonalds, patiently waiting for me to figure out some mathematical formulas on my own. That was the day I felt that I entered the threshold of becoming smart. Smart has become such a strange word to me now. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to call myself smart, or if I’m making it way too big of a deal and I really am just a smart guy, and that everyone is smart in their own way (lame but true). I’m not sure, but that’s for another entry. Its easier for someone to be a vegetarian every Wednesday than it is to find a person who has enough time, patient, and spirit to break through to a kid trying to live up to his parents expectation. Its even harder for a kid to do that on his own.

Jathagam says that I will have a great relationship, live a long and healthy life, become successful in my career, but only be average quality when it comes to studying. Average quality? Nigga fuck you. You think being 10 years old and being able to build my own computer is average quality? You think the deep thinking required to understand the religious system, and decide to become an atheist (secular-humanist) is the product of an average quality brain. What about my social skills? I knew everybody in high school. My grade 12 year book was filled with comments from so many people saying how I was “one of the nicest people” they ever met, and that I enhanced their classroom experience. Is that the kind of praise that everyone gets, on average? I was one of the first kids to find a job and start working, in grade 7, 13 years old. I started making money much earlier, mowing lawns and selling illegal cds/movies to kids around the same time. I built a house out of garbage. I know SO much about music. I have read countless number of articles about psychology. Oh my god I have read so much psychology and watched so many videos about the human brain, I was able to help out Yashoda so much with her problems. I have given so much advice to people. In grade 3, I remember I didn’t like this one kid, I don’t remember who anymore, but I hated him so much because he always bragged. He bragged about everything he does all the time. Now when I hear people bragging, I just acknowledge the fact that its just a cry for attention, and they probably don’t get enough recognition, or they’ve received so much recognition that they now desire it on a daily basis. All I know is that I don’t like bragging, or having a huge ego. So I never mentioned these things to my parents or to anyone really. Hey I admit to going on about something I’m good at, or have been succesful in.It always feels good to feel proud about yourself. Now since I don’t brag consistently, I don’t remember these facts all the time, and I start to forget about what I’m capable of. Especially when I’m faced with challenges that I’m having difficulty overcoming. And during those moments I begin to doubt myself. Maybe I’m not cut out to be an engineer. Maybe I wasn’t born with the genetic brain structure to understand this concept. Maybe I’m not as sociable as I think. Maybe I just forgot. And the last thing I need to hear is “it is your destiny to be mediocre”. When I’m doubting, I just gotta look back at the times I’ve done well, and was resilient as a muthafuck. Nothing could, can, or will bring me down. And that includes concerned parents, judgmental peers, unfair exams/markers, my own childish desires of instant gratification, and certainly not some bullshit ancient method of fortune telling.

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