I had so much trouble focusing and DOING my chemistry assignment yesterday. It’s a research report type of thing. Prom was just a few days ago, so maybe my brain was a little scattered from the after party. Anyways its 4pm, I just got home, and I’m about to get started. I realize that I generally complain about my own thoughts distracting me. Maybe if I just took 10 mins to write it all down I won’t be distracted during my work. The difficult part is that I can’t anticipate what thoughts I’m going to be distracted by. I guess I’ll just get the day’s events out of the way. Or since I haven’t written in a diary in so long, I could talk about the weeks events. But I said I’d only spend 10 mins on diary, so I better stick to writing the important things. Oh! Maybe every 50 mins, I”ll take a break stretch and write in the diary. I think I might be on to a good idea. As kiru said “Ah, you’re always trying to better yourself”.
Later that day…
I’d say that hour I spent studying was pretty productive. I took a retardedly long break though. Cuz it took forever to cook, and I ended up watching an episode of Full House. PROM! It’s a celebration that is hyped up because of how much money people spend and especially the after parties – there is usually cool stories and stuff. One typical thing we did at our after party was write on people in marker while they were sleeping. I feel like I’m writing the voice of a Chad Neely comic [I must’ve meant to write Brad Neely] specifically Baby Cakes.
Usually I don’t have much of a focus when I write in these diaries. Its usually somewhat of a stream of consciousness, and internal monologue. I guess this and the previous entry have the purpose of eliminating distractions caused by my thoughts while I study. Time flies when I write, its like talking to a good friend, you don’t realize how fast time is passing by. While I was studying earlier I was distracted by the thought of _ _ _ _ _ and _ _ _ _ _ _. Separately, not both of them together. I was remembering that she had a spare with me today, and didn’t chill.
Okay the entry is now taking a turn into something private about me. It’s a weakness, which I had at the time of writing. If I use real names, then I’ll have to ask permission. I think using fake names might just be the perfect way to write anything about anyone. Well if I write too many details about them, I’m sure they would be able to figure it out. But no one else would, which is what counts. I don’t care if some ignorant people will judge me based on a an entry I wrote in 2011, but if the people I mention care about me exposing details…well that could be an issue. Well in this particular scenario, I already said it was my weakness, so whatever I can write about it. No secrets, nothing to hide. I accept me for who I am and who I was. Okay. I’m going to continue the entry with fake names.
I guess I wanted the attention of knowing that she looked for me, and also wanted to spend time together. She doesn’t give me nearly enough attention [jeez why was I such a pussy lol]. I can easily get that attention from other girls though. So why do I bother? I WON’T.